Monthly Archives: October 2015


I am a cheesy person and this is going to be a very cheesy post. You have been warned.

In my life I have encountered so many driven girls — yet the one trait that I have always observed is that, they are almost certainly often feel insecure. Some would feel like they are not good enough career- or school-wise, some would feel that they are too overbearing, some would worry about how they would never have a boyfriend; and the list goes on and on.

Now I have this particular friend of mine: she’s very bright (as in cheerful bright and smart bright, not the convenience store in Pertamina’s retail stations Bright) and I bet that there are lots of colleagues, university friends, high school friends that could validate that. As humane as we all are, she sometimes feel insecure — about pretty much the things that we all would feel insecure about, such as work, romance, life in general, work (uh yes I did mention work twice on purpose 😉 teehee).

Sometimes though, like tonight, I wanted to shout out to her and say don’t worry, you’re doing fine. Ultra fine, to be exact.

Last time I worked with her in a team, she was able to deliver and led a team of 30+ people to create an exhibition and competition which went smoothly; during which for a year of working with her I don’t think I have any complains. From what I heard on her work, she’s doing fine in that front too. And being the ambitious girl that she is, she keeps on finding ways how to develop herself (which on a side note, I’m sure she’ll do stellar in whatever things she decide to pursue).

I wouldn’t call her overbearing, at all. She’s a listener (and equally, a talker too, which is good) and she could (well I hope) stand listening to your endless daily spazzing over an idol who doesn’t even know you exist that lives 5,293 km away from you. Now in retrospect, I think I owe her a LOT of time to listen because 75% of the time I think it’s me who did the talking.

She’s wise! She could give you advice and feedback that is objective and logical, yet at the same time able to convey it in a delicate manner that it doesn’t hurt your feeling. Honestly, if I could bring this back to myself, I appreciate honesty in friendship much more than sweet talks and empty consolations — and she is able to do just that. She’s mature (well, she *is* even older now HAHAHA) so whenever this childish Cahya decides to jump out, she could bring Cahya back to her senses. And that’s nice to have ❤

All in all, I think she’s a good careerwoman in the making (her boss said so), a good human being (she supports refugees), a good fangirl (she likes (or as she claimed, liked with a past tense) Xiumin and Kim Jinwoo), and most importantly, she’s a good friend (Cahya said so <3).

And oh! Today happens to be her birthday.

Happy birthday, Cici! Hope you had a blast! Have a stellar year ahead of you! Thank you for being a friend! :*

xx, mushy Cahya

P.S.: she is the one responsible to encourage me to start writing again (honestly, this was so important for me and it boosted my confidence in writing things again)

P.P.S.: she’s single.


I am an alpha female — or at least I think I am? yea I think I am.

And I have an alpha boyfriend — career and ambition wise, that is.

We participated in several competitions together, we went together (albeit with a difference of 3 months) in a study-abroad program, sometimes our dinner plans got intercepted with work emails (and yeah, I don’t like it either), we helped each other practice for big presentations (seminars, speeches, thesis defense among others), and basically do all the boring things in life together.

We also have this tendency to over-do and portray that we have a ROCKING relationship — when you make an ambitious birthday infographic, or a confusing essay for your anniversary, you gotta be mental or something don’t you think? — and that our relationship works; every single minute, every single second.

Sometimes we have the honor of people saying that they admire us, some dub us as their “favorite couple ever”, some said we are inspiring (it really touches me when you say that — but we seriously have a long way to go to be called as inspiring). We are extremely happy and flattered for that, thank you! Merci beaucoup! Terima kasih!

It also feels nice being in a relationship where each of us are free to chase our own dreams and ambitions — be it being Bill Gates or Sheryl Sandberg/Melinda Gates (a.k.a. #ForeverGirlCrush) — and does not let your significant other hold you back or shrug you off telling you to “slow down, you’re so ambitious”. It’s nice to have someone that will motivate you when you’re feeling like you’re too lazy to work and prefer to spazz over K-Pop idols instead. It’s nice as well to have someone to be in front of you in the racetrack so you don’t feel so complacent about where you are right now — you’ll grow for the better. But of course — it’s nicest when someone can spill out the harsh word to you if you’ve been doing something wrongly and no one else would want to say the plain, harsh truth out loud to you.

Yes it might sound uptight, rigid, no chill, boring and downright no fun. However, I value self-development and self-actualization, so it really suits me and I find them fun along the way.

So it’s rainbows and butterflies, no?

Well, yes, sure, sometimes.

But there are lots of things that the two Alphas don’t tell you:

  • The person in front of you in the racetrack? Guess what, he’s your rival now. Need I say more?
  • There are days, weeks, maybe months when you can’t simply meet up due to unmatched schedules and work commitments. In which it could be very tiring — you have no energy left in the evenings to catch up on each other’s lives and got no sufficient amount of free time to have a quality time and reconnect. No matter how much the word “compromise” got said, there are some moments when you just simply can’t. And it’s tiring. It makes you feel empty.
  • We need more ears than we need mouths. There are so much to say when you have the time to talk and yet so little you want to hear. Sometimes the two of us are so eloquent in speaking that we don’t know how or when to stop.
  • You want to stop running, take a breath for a while, enjoy the sceneries or the sky or whatnots, but soon you realize you’re lagging behind and being the Alpha that you are, you don’t wanna be left behind, of course. (Yes, I know, “then chill a bit! Who’s asking you to keep on running?”)
  • You beat yourself too hard — way too hard. When I was still a free-roamers I’ve always had the tendency to look down on myself and feel dissatisfied of who I am and what I’ve done (you know, my friend, I’m always this insecure little girl). When you’re with someone…who has the exact same tendency….you just end up being two very insecure little girl and boy being stuck together in the bottomless abyss that is the insecurity trap. Sometimes we end up losing faith in ourselves completely.

I know every relationship has its own trade-offs and hard times and fun rides. It’s just this is one of the off moments for this girl right here…

and hell yeah it’s tiring.

Just like my post almost 2 years ago, I find it incredibly amusing to look for search engine terms that lead people to my blogs… Although I haven’t blogged for *so* long, apparently some weird terms still lure people in. In this post I categorized some of the amusing (and downright weird) search engine terms:

  • Weirdest term goes to: apa bahasa sundanya makan mie instan terus kaya anak kostan. Mister/miss, I have no idea.
  • Other weird terms: kenapa nasi uduk murah banget, kenapa undangan indonesia berlembar-lembar
  • Kaderisasi/ospek/perploncoan: starting from the positive ones like “kaderisasi tanpa marah”, “ospek di luar negeri yang tanpa marah-marah”, “cara membela mentor yang dimarahi panitia” to the awful ones like “ide plonco maba pas makrab”, “kekerasan kaderisasi”
  • My friends’ names: seriously are these friends popular or are they just searching their own names?
  • Rute angkot Bandung: ….mister/miss, I only know the route for the purple angkot Cisitu-Tegalega. Other than that, I’m quite blind 😦

Have a good morning! And thank you for visiting my blog!